I know not all of you went to law school, but those of you who did will probably find this as funny as I did.....
YOU MIGHT BE IN LAWSCHOOL IF:
You consider dropping out of law school approximately
every hour, but after that first semester you realized
you were already in too much debt to be anything other
than a lawyer.
You aspire to one day own Blackacre.
Substance abuse becomes you.
The drama in your life now rivals that of high school.
You make adverse possession jokes.
You can name without hesitation at least three people
who make you want to throw things when you see them
raise their hands in class.
You think IRAC and CREAC are just code for saying the
same thing over and over.
You are truly and deeply unnerved by the thought of
some of your classmates becoming attorneys.
You think tequila shots are essential to ordered
liberty.
You wonder if that one professor who always seems
angry and irritable and treats students' minds as his
personal playground is actually a sociopath or just
didn't get enough hugs as a child.
Sometimes during disagreements you are tempted to
12(b)(6) the offending friend or family member.
You know and understand the complicated
epistemological and metaphysical differences between a
conspirator and an accomplice.
You know and understand the complicated
epistemological and metaphysical differences between
coffee and red bull.
You can't remember if you decided to come to law
school because you wanted to help people and make a
difference in the world or because you hate yourself.
You think whoever came up with the Socratic method
should have his face lit on fire and then beaten out
with a rake.
You can't think of any legitimate reason why a law
student would need access to certain public records,
but you can think of a whole lot of illegitimate ones.
After the first semester you realized that "briefing a
case" need only consist of looking it up on Lexis or
Westlaw.
You've given yourself carpal tunnel from all the
spider solitaire you play in class.
When someone is expressing their frustration or anger
about something that is in any way related to the law,
you can't be sympathetic because you're too busy
figuring out in your head if they have a cause of
action.
You hear about the death of an elderly friend or
relative and wonder if they died intestate.
You have considered changing career paths to hot dog
vendor, stilt walker, or career alcoholic.
You're pretty sure the reasonable prudent man is a
friendless tool who still lives with his mother.